Day Sixteen, In Which We Do The Opposite

 How do you know how you feel about something if you don't do the exact opposite from time to time?

After fifteen days of consistently covering my hair, even remembering to as I stood on the porch to lock the house up...

I decided to try going out without covering. Just a quick run to the grocery store.

I don't think I was as aware of myself when I first began covering as I was walking through the store with my head bare and my hair flowing.

I don't know that I ever really thought about head covering as a form of modesty- What is immodest about your hair? But after spending more than two weeks not needing to care what my hair looked like or was doing, entering the world with my hair free brought my attention back to the state/appearance of that repeatedly whilst out those 20 minutes or so.

Maybe I still don't quite think of the act as modesty, but I do think of it as pulling my attention away from silly things (how am I looking) and putting it more toward mindful things (how am I feeling and responding). 

- And that, I think, is a lesson in itself. Why do we cover our hair? Because it's a mitzvah? Because we're supposed to? Because it's modest and feminine? Might a better reason to explore the ideas of modesty be that it helps to keep our attention where it ought to be?

I've had and seen others put up a great deal of push back when it comes to the ideas of propriety and womens' bodies. Why should I have to cover my shoulders? Is it my fault (insert name here) is distracted by my shoulders? 

I do a hold that a woman should be able to safely walk through the streets naked if she took it in her head to do so. I do think that we are each responsible for our own thoughts and actions, men and women both. But I do also think it's easier to focus on Connection, Divinity, Mindfulness, and Being A Good Human... when I'm not focusing on how I look or how others are responding to how I look. It seems easier to live the way I'm "supposed to" if I'm not focusing on what's happening with my clothes or my hair, if I'm not worried about what kind of attention I might be drawing.

Food for thought.



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