Day Thirty, In Which I Make Executive Decisions

 Today is the last day of my experiment... But the first day of the rest of my life?

Or at least, that's how it feels.

Today, we are waiting to hear for positive physical identification of the bodies returned to Israel...

Are these the Bibas children?

Today, I find myself making Big Choices for my daughter who has recently returned to residential care...

I don't feel like that was the right choice so what is? I've begun the process of removing her from the facility.

Today, I find myself questioning my choices for myself...

Where do I want to be? How do I get there? I went into a meeting yesterday feeling like I could do anything and left... feeling like I should be more rational. I may be making some difficult, uncomfortable, and even scary choices in the next weeks.

And today... 

My husband came home and pulled out his garment bags and laid his good clothes on the bed, asking me to have them dry cleaned so he can wear them to shul. 

My husband is willingly going to shul with me? What is that???

But the truth is, the more I lean into my roots as a Jewish woman, the more right my life seems to be. Funny how trusting Hashem and living the way we've been told to... leads to everything working out.

So as I sit here, my hair uncovered in my bedroom, I can say that... Today may be the last day of journaling about this but it won't be the last day of embracing the experience and all the positive change it can bring to my life.



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