Day Twenty-Seven, In Which I Am Happy

 I've noticed that as this journal progresses, I have less to say about the act of covering. Why is that?

I think it's become a part of me, at least for now. If I had chosen to do yoga every day for a month, would I still have something new to say about it after a month? I honestly don't think so. And I wonder if my peers will have the same experience: less and less to say about the thing as it becomes integrated into their lives.

So rather, I will talk about life as it happened during my head being covered. I often do not end my day feeling very positive but today, I have managed to have and hold onto some extremely positive experiences. Today...

No one talked to me at work. This makes for great concentration.

My son met up with me and presented me with a chicken sandwich.

People in my first class interacted with me and complimented me. - I'm usually left to my own devices as one of the Quiet People.

The first class of the day was great: but... it always is. (Still worth mentioning.)

- Additionally, a friend in there brought me chocolate peanut butter balls. Delish.

I asked my professor to be on my committee and he said yes. - Fan girling a bit.

I took a little me time before class two and that was refreshing.

We made art in class two which I love.- And had really great conversation.

When I got home... 

My coffee plant had sprouted its first tiny branch. (My friend has been growing them for years and warned me last year not to worry if I killed my new little friend. Now we have our first branch!)

AND my new skirt had come.

These things, I experienced as a head-covering married Jewish woman. I have three days left of this experiment and I find myself in a weird headspace about it still.

I found myself admiring my hair in the mirror tonight: not something I ever did before. I never really see or feel my hair anymore so it has this new idea/feeling attached to it. I thought about what it would be like to walk into class next week with my head uncovered and I'm... undecided. I may be undecided for a while. But now I know... it's safe. If I want to incorporate this into my physical and spiritual experience in the world: I have been safe doing it. I have been accepted. -Which is confidence building, certainly.




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Day One, In Which We Begin with a Beret

Image
My beret came yesterday, and while I was excited, I must admit to feeling rather... out of sorts with the idea of covering this morning. I told myself that it was a hat, that no one would notice, and I feel like that was a correct assumption: that no one would have noticed if I had not spoken openly about why it was on my head. But I suppose it's no different than choosing to wear my star of David, posting mezuzim on my doors, carrying a pocket siddur, or saying Baruch Hashem. I'm Jewish, and if anyone questions anything I do Jewishly, I have always freely and proudly explained myself to them.  A conversation with Becca, the HR lady at work, ended up with her showing me pictures of her (other) Jewish friend, who also chooses to cover in various ways. She said the beret looked pretty. A conversation with Brandy, a classmate of mine, brought the opportunity to share aspects of my culture with someone who had perhaps known very little of our ways.  I don't think I was really p...
Read more

Day Eighteen, In Which Nothing Goes To Plan

Image
 Today, we were supposed to see friends. It didn't work out and I settled myself into a day at home.  It should be easier than it is. I love being at home and doing home-things. But I'm also entirely contrary so any day of the week that I'm meant to be at school or work, I resent it and I want to stay home... And the days that I'm allowed to stay at home, I end up galivanting all over the countryside on weird adventures. I need my at home time. I need to feel in charge of my life and my schedule. It doesn't matter how much I love my job or my classes, being told when I need to do something or where just rubs me wrong. But today... was an at home day. I watered all of my plants and moved some from their cups of water into the soil, covering up their newly formed roots. I fed the fish. I did laundry and made the grocery order. I prepped fruits and veggies and fed the scraps to the hens. I played ball with my dogs. And because I was at home, amongst my own people, I di...
Read more

Day Fourteen, In Which We Acknowledge Time

Image
Two weeks of covering my hair.- Woohoo! I wanted to take a moment to compare the act of covering my hair to the act of meditation. Both are done thoughtfully. Both require a certain amount of awareness for a certain amount of time. (Similar to ceasing to pay attention to your breath when the moment is through, I cease to pay attention to my hair being covered.) And both pop up in your mind throughout the day. - How it went, the feeling of it, the thoughts you chose to focus on or let go of. The feeling of Connectivity both with yourself and What Is. Each time I enter a new space or experience with my hair covered, I become aware of myself once more. Today, we had good weather, and I opted to take my dog for a walk in the neighborhood. Long skirt, hair covered, Star of David flashing in the sunlight, psychotic golden retriever (mostly) at my side.  I passed two women. Normally, they nod to me when I drive past them. - I only walk when the weather is warm. They crossed to the other s...
Read more